Rise and fall of the human race

o_paft · 10-25-2006, 10:39 PM

All men will have big willies

Source
By CAROLINE IGGULDEN
OCTOBER 17, 2006

BY the year 3000, the average human will be 6½ft tall, have coffee-coloured skin and live for 120 years, new research predicts. And the good news does not end there.

Blokes will be chuffed to learn their willies will get bigger — and women’s boobs will become more pert.

But there is also a downside, the study suggests. We will be more prone to disease and physically weaker because of our increasing reliance on technology.

The predictions appear in a new report by evolution theorist Dr Oliver Curry, of the Darwin@LSE Research Centre at the London School Of Economics.
He looked at the impact of various technological, biological and environmental factors on the future evolution of man.

He reckons humans are set to reach their peak by the year 3000, growing taller and living longer thanks to improved nutrition, lifestyles and medical knowledge.

According to the report, commissioned to mark the 21st anniversary of TV channel Bravo, race will become a thing of the past as we will all have the same coloured skin.

Brave new world ... Dr Curry

Dr Curry says: “Race is only skin deep. There was a time when we were all the same colour. As we become more interconnected throughout the world, racial difference is likely to be diluted.
“Humans are likely to move towards a uniform ‘coffee’ skin tone.”

Dr Curry continues: “People of the year 3000 will have reached the peak of human enhancement, leading the longest, healthiest and most accomplished lives in the entire history of the human race. “Improved nutrition and understanding of the human body will see people grow taller, with men reaching an average height of between six and seven feet, while lifespans will also be far greater, with humans living for up to 120 years.”

Dr Curry also claims men and women will also become better-looking by the next Millennium in order to attract a mate. He says: “Our ideas of what we find attractive will evolve and as a result we will develop technologies that will enable us to upgrade ourselves. “Through turbo-charged cosmetic surgery techniques and genetic engineering, we will try to fit in with what the opposite sex finds attractive.”

As a result men are expected to exhibit symmetrical facial features, athleticism and the classic signs of testosterone such as a square jaw, deeper voice and larger manhood.

Women will have smooth hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair and symmetrical features.

But while mankind is expected to reach its brilliant best in the year 3,000, the outlook further along the evolutionary chain is less rosy.

According to the report, 10,000 years from now the human race will pay the genetic price for its over-reliance on technology. Dr Curry, 33, says: “It all sounds a lot of fun to begin with but humans are going to experience the equivalent of a genetic hangover as we rely more and more on technology.

“One way to look at it is that we will become a bit weedy — like domestic animals who need to be looked after. “Skills such as communicating and interacting with others will be degraded, leaving humans less able to care for others. “There is also the danger that reliance on medicine and obsession with hygiene is likely to lead to a deterioration in the immune system. If we are all popping pills, diseases such as cancer won’t be weeded out of the gene pool.”

It is also predicted that humans will lose their jaw structure due to a lack of chewing needed to eat processed foods. According to the report, the number of caesarian sections will rise as mothers give birth to larger infants. Much further in the future, the report foresees a kind of genetic class system developing where humans become more choosy about their partners.

About 100,000 years from now, mankind may be divided into two distinct groups — with the genetic elite moving in more exclusive circles and losing contact with the rest of society. The genetic “haves” will be tall, thin symmetrical, clean, healthy, intelligent and creative. The genetic “have nots” will be short, stocky, asymmetrical, grubby, unhealthy and not as bright.

Dr Curry adds: “It is kind of like Angelina Jolie having a baby with Brad Pitt. A genetic elite will be created by what is known as ‘assortative mating’.

“It is like the two best tennis players in the world getting together. In a more interconnected world, it will become easier and easier for these kinds of people to meet up.

“While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is also the possibility of a monumental genetic hangover.
“We certainly can’t predict definitely what is going to happen but we can make educated predictions based on our understanding of how evolution works.

“The Bravo Evolution report suggests the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.”

o_psycnet · 10-25-2006, 10:44 PM

...I thought the human evolution equation is a .07% change in DNA every 10,000 years or so

o_dancingfool · 10-26-2006, 12:29 AM

I'm glad I won't look like a complete and utter faggot in my lifetime.
(No "clever" remarks)

o_frenchtoast · 10-26-2006, 12:47 AM

Fine.

o_dancingfool · 10-26-2006, 12:51 AM

/win

o_binarylife · 10-26-2006, 01:46 AM

Why does the genetic elite look a little like Hitler?

o_yomamashouse · 10-26-2006, 02:03 AM

Is this a joke or is this intended to be serious? I cant tell.

o_frenchtoast · 10-26-2006, 02:06 AM

^^That guy looks pretty friekin serious.

o_qwertyuiop · 10-26-2006, 02:09 AM

Doesn't affect me.

o_uber · 10-26-2006, 02:40 AM

I can only disagree with the idea that women will have hairless skin.

o_the russian · 10-26-2006, 06:06 AM

we shall grow so dependent on tech that when the next ice age hits, we'll be runing to mexico because or puny beautiful bodies have no fat to sustain us with and no hair to keep us warm... the russians will laugh at you! and go back to siberia... or, global warming wins out and we all have to learn how to speak african... clicks and everything...

o_cruor · 10-26-2006, 12:18 PM

Pure bollocks and speculation... sure we might get a little taller and our average liftime will have advanced a little by the 3000's and we will surely have a higher average IQ but it's very doubtful that it will reach the proportions he speculates in.

Allthough genetic engineering is allways to be considered a shortcut in evolution once the technology is there.

o_coldy · 10-26-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BinaryLife

Why does the genetic elite look a little like Hitler?

And why does 40000 years ago man look like Sawyer from Lost?

o_sobe green · 10-26-2006, 03:37 PM

That guy doesn't look serious. It looks like he is making up his own crazy world since the Star Wars movies aren't going to be made anymore. We should kill him and sell his children on ebay.

o_uber · 10-26-2006, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Russian

we all have to learn how to speak african... clicks and everything...

And you thought you weren't racist!

o_dancingfool · 10-26-2006, 06:05 PM

That's more nationalist than it is racist.

o_bubbles · 10-29-2006, 11:26 AM

Don't trust a man who calls himself Dr. Curry.

o_ivaqual · 10-29-2006, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uBeR

And you thought you weren't racist!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DancingFool

That's more nationalist than it is racist.

yes, someone points out linguistical differences and next thing you know concentration camps are back

o_uber · 10-29-2006, 04:03 PM

No. You've missed my point. It's like saying "We're all going to have to learn Asian, like 'Ching chong chen ding ding!!'" Now obviously that's some pretty bad misjudgement; not exactly an examination of regional linguistic differences (if you can't see why, don't even bother arguing). And obviously it's not the worst form of racism, but that's exactly what my point was in the other thread: virtually everyone is racist, to some extent.

o_dancingfool · 10-29-2006, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nagual678

yes, someone points out linguistical differences and next thing you know concentration camps are back

Exactly.

10-25-2006, 10:39 PM	#1
o_paft Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: United Kingdom Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Rise and fall of the human race All men will have big willies Source By CAROLINE IGGULDEN OCTOBER 17, 2006 BY the year 3000, the average human will be 6½ft tall, have coffee-coloured skin and live for 120 years, new research predicts. And the good news does not end there. Blokes will be chuffed to learn their willies will get bigger — and women’s boobs will become more pert. But there is also a downside, the study suggests. We will be more prone to disease and physically weaker because of our increasing reliance on technology. The predictions appear in a new report by evolution theorist Dr Oliver Curry, of the Darwin@LSE Research Centre at the London School Of Economics. He looked at the impact of various technological, biological and environmental factors on the future evolution of man. He reckons humans are set to reach their peak by the year 3000, growing taller and living longer thanks to improved nutrition, lifestyles and medical knowledge. According to the report, commissioned to mark the 21st anniversary of TV channel Bravo, race will become a thing of the past as we will all have the same coloured skin. Brave new world ... Dr Curry Dr Curry says: “Race is only skin deep. There was a time when we were all the same colour. As we become more interconnected throughout the world, racial difference is likely to be diluted. “Humans are likely to move towards a uniform ‘coffee’ skin tone.” Dr Curry continues: “People of the year 3000 will have reached the peak of human enhancement, leading the longest, healthiest and most accomplished lives in the entire history of the human race. “Improved nutrition and understanding of the human body will see people grow taller, with men reaching an average height of between six and seven feet, while lifespans will also be far greater, with humans living for up to 120 years.” Dr Curry also claims men and women will also become better-looking by the next Millennium in order to attract a mate. He says: “Our ideas of what we find attractive will evolve and as a result we will develop technologies that will enable us to upgrade ourselves. “Through turbo-charged cosmetic surgery techniques and genetic engineering, we will try to fit in with what the opposite sex finds attractive.” As a result men are expected to exhibit symmetrical facial features, athleticism and the classic signs of testosterone such as a square jaw, deeper voice and larger manhood. Women will have smooth hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair and symmetrical features. But while mankind is expected to reach its brilliant best in the year 3,000, the outlook further along the evolutionary chain is less rosy. According to the report, 10,000 years from now the human race will pay the genetic price for its over-reliance on technology. Dr Curry, 33, says: “It all sounds a lot of fun to begin with but humans are going to experience the equivalent of a genetic hangover as we rely more and more on technology. “One way to look at it is that we will become a bit weedy — like domestic animals who need to be looked after. “Skills such as communicating and interacting with others will be degraded, leaving humans less able to care for others. “There is also the danger that reliance on medicine and obsession with hygiene is likely to lead to a deterioration in the immune system. If we are all popping pills, diseases such as cancer won’t be weeded out of the gene pool.” It is also predicted that humans will lose their jaw structure due to a lack of chewing needed to eat processed foods. According to the report, the number of caesarian sections will rise as mothers give birth to larger infants. Much further in the future, the report foresees a kind of genetic class system developing where humans become more choosy about their partners. About 100,000 years from now, mankind may be divided into two distinct groups — with the genetic elite moving in more exclusive circles and losing contact with the rest of society. The genetic “haves” will be tall, thin symmetrical, clean, healthy, intelligent and creative. The genetic “have nots” will be short, stocky, asymmetrical, grubby, unhealthy and not as bright. Dr Curry adds: “It is kind of like Angelina Jolie having a baby with Brad Pitt. A genetic elite will be created by what is known as ‘assortative mating’. “It is like the two best tennis players in the world getting together. In a more interconnected world, it will become easier and easier for these kinds of people to meet up. “While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is also the possibility of a monumental genetic hangover. “We certainly can’t predict definitely what is going to happen but we can make educated predictions based on our understanding of how evolution works. “The Bravo Evolution report suggests the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.” Last edited by o_paft; 10-25-2006 at 10:45 PM.

10-25-2006, 10:44 PM	#2
o_psycnet Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Calgary, Canada eh? Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	...I thought the human evolution equation is a .07% change in DNA every 10,000 years or so

10-26-2006, 12:29 AM	#3
o_dancingfool Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	I'm glad I won't look like a complete and utter faggot in my lifetime. (No "clever" remarks)

10-26-2006, 12:47 AM	#4
o_frenchtoast Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Markham, Ontario, Canada! Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Fine.

10-26-2006, 12:51 AM	#5
o_dancingfool Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	/win

10-26-2006, 01:46 AM	#6
o_binarylife Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Why does the genetic elite look a little like Hitler?

10-26-2006, 02:03 AM	#7
o_yomamashouse Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Your Mamas House Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Is this a joke or is this intended to be serious? I cant tell.

10-26-2006, 02:06 AM	#8
o_frenchtoast Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Markham, Ontario, Canada! Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	^^That guy looks pretty friekin serious.

10-26-2006, 02:09 AM	#9
o_qwertyuiop Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: The Shrine of Alwaysoff Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Doesn't affect me.

10-26-2006, 02:40 AM	#10
o_uber Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	I can only disagree with the idea that women will have hairless skin.

10-26-2006, 06:06 AM	#11
o_the russian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	we shall grow so dependent on tech that when the next ice age hits, we'll be runing to mexico because or puny beautiful bodies have no fat to sustain us with and no hair to keep us warm... the russians will laugh at you! and go back to siberia... or, global warming wins out and we all have to learn how to speak african... clicks and everything...

10-26-2006, 12:18 PM	#12
o_cruor Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sweden Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Pure bollocks and speculation... sure we might get a little taller and our average liftime will have advanced a little by the 3000's and we will surely have a higher average IQ but it's very doubtful that it will reach the proportions he speculates in. Allthough genetic engineering is allways to be considered a shortcut in evolution once the technology is there.

10-26-2006, 03:37 PM	#14
o_sobe green Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Arkansas Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	That guy doesn't look serious. It looks like he is making up his own crazy world since the Star Wars movies aren't going to be made anymore. We should kill him and sell his children on ebay.

10-26-2006, 06:05 PM	#16
o_dancingfool Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	That's more nationalist than it is racist.

10-29-2006, 11:26 AM	#17
o_bubbles Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Don't trust a man who calls himself Dr. Curry.

10-29-2006, 04:03 PM	#19
o_uber Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	No. You've missed my point. It's like saying "We're all going to have to learn Asian, like 'Ching chong chen ding ding!!'" Now obviously that's some pretty bad misjudgement; not exactly an examination of regional linguistic differences (if you can't see why, don't even bother arguing). And obviously it's not the worst form of racism, but that's exactly what my point was in the other thread: virtually everyone is racist, to some extent.

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