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Old 10-13-2007, 03:50 PM   #1
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Grandmother Passed Away

This morning, my grandmother (step-dad's mother) passed away due to severe Alzeimers . I just found out on the phone. Yesterday she went into critical condition after not having eaten or drunk for two days straight. Not sure of the exact time .

How do you deal with such sudden news?
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Old 10-13-2007, 04:05 PM   #2
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Sad. I am sorry to hear that. I don't know what to say in these times.
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Old 10-13-2007, 05:33 PM   #3
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How do you deal with such sudden news?
By mourning.
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Old 10-13-2007, 05:39 PM   #4
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By realizing it happens to the best of us.
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Old 10-13-2007, 08:28 PM   #5
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By realizing it happens to the best of us.
No, it happens to ALL of us. Just remember that she is no longer in pain, and remember all the good times you had. There isn't a lot more you can do.
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Old 10-13-2007, 09:39 PM   #6
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I understand about losing a grandma, lost two in the same year(one step and the other from my moms side) . I was attending college When my Grandma (Step dads mom) passed away due to an anurizm(however you spell it) was hard as hell when they were keeping her on life support before making the call to pull the plug, wrost decission as a family we had to make, she was a great woman loving and made all the grandkids blankets for thier birthday, i now passed the ones she made for me to my son to use. One of my other grandmas passed away later on, i feel like she just gave up. Been going down hill sense her house caught fire 10 years prior. For the longest she didnt smile so looked like she had a constant frown, always tried to brighten her day when i was visiting. Hard for her to laugh but she enjoyed it. So hard seeing her go through pain and not wanting to take care of herself. I wish there was something icould have done, and maybe she would have gained more years. But i know shes not suffering anymore. This happend between years '02-'03. Yes it still hurts but i try not to focus on why they had to leave or challeng a higher power as to why it had to happen. Used to be angry at the world and my grades did suffer at the time. Now just hurts not so much and i still miss them so mucha nd love, but theni think if i were to pass i wouldnt want someone dwelling on me, and like someone suggested before, just be happy for what i offered in life and the time that was spent.

One thing i realized is never know when you are going to go. Had a situated between my real dad and his mom so havnt spoken to my grandma(real dads mom) in years before my second grandma passing. Realized that if she were to go and i missed a chance to reconsile with her, iw ould hate myself. For one i didnt remember what the fight was about. So called till i could remember her number. Was an amazing time. Talked for a few hours. Glad too becuase i wanted her to be apart of my sons life. Lot of things i regret, like not able to spend enough time with my passed grandmas because i was too far away, so i blamed myself for the longest. But i dont anymore. its going to be tuff, but will get easier, try not to hold on too hard because easy to turn bitter.


i no there wasnt a definate answer how to deal with it, it is a complex situation and with emotions there isnt a perfect answer because people are different and unique, so what i went through doesnt mean youll go through it too. but it helps to know that there are people who care.
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Old 10-13-2007, 11:26 PM   #7
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That sucks, just don't do what I did when my grandma died and stop eating. That won't do any good.

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Old 10-14-2007, 02:38 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zSilver_Fox
This morning, my grandmother (step-dad's mother) passed away due to severe Alzeimers . I just found out on the phone. Yesterday she went into critical condition after not having eaten or drunk for two days straight. Not sure of the exact time .

How do you deal with such sudden news?
Time, it always takes time. This too will pass. I'm sorry for your loss and the pain your family is feeling. I've lost all of my grandparents and parents over the years, it never gets easy. I'll pray for you and your family, god be with you.

I would suggest though, after this passes, that you take some time with each of them that is still with you. Sit down with them, with a video camera, ask them about their child hood, what their parents were like, what their school was like, how your parents fell in love, etc etc etc. I had the opportunity to do this with my own mother... you'll learn more about them in the few hours you do that then you have in a lifetime. They'll be thrilled you're interested, and you'll get to see a side of them you never thought possible. 20 years from now, those recordings will mean a great deal to you.

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Old 10-14-2007, 03:02 AM   #9
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My grandpa died around a month ago, and the best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with family and remember the good times/trade stories. I remember the open-casket visitation, and it was the hardest thing I've ever been through. We went to my grandma's house afterwards and just got to talking, and we told stories about him which nobody else had ever heard, and before long we were laughing and having a good time. Best medicine is laughter! It sounds bad that he died and we were laughing, but it really is the best way to remember someone.
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Old 10-14-2007, 02:48 PM   #10
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My grandmother passed away a little over a month ago because she was tired of going through blood transfusions three times a week and various other treatments and had stopped treatment. She had been on hospice for over a month, and sick for two years, so we had time to prepare for the inevitable. I dealt with the grief by being really pissed off at the perky, barely-older-than-me, "look at me I adopt orphans from Africa and bring them to the funeral with me!", so-jealous-that-my-grandma-is-with-god-now preacher.
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Old 10-14-2007, 03:25 PM   #11
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Looks like you got enough people giving advice it's all good so I'll just say the pain gets less with time so keep putting one foot in front of the other. When I'm in grief I surround my self with work or projects to keep my mind busy so I don't have to think about it.
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Old 10-15-2007, 02:34 AM   #12
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Sorry for your loss. May god be with you.
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Old 10-15-2007, 02:51 AM   #13
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Quote:
we told stories about him which nobody else had ever heard, and before long we were laughing and having a good time. Best medicine is laughter!
Excellent advice right there.

Remember that your grandmother will live on in all the deeds she's done - the good things shes done for you and your family. You and everyone else in her life in turn pass what you learned from her and how she impacted you on to those around you. This is how I've looked at my family members who have died, and I believe I honor them and do them justice by treating others in the world well, and striving to make the world a better place. Care for your parents and those around you to make sure they get through it alright, and care for yourself - make sure everyone talks about it (when they're ready) and things will be well.

And by the way, all of those lending their hearts in this thread: you are lovely people.
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Old 10-15-2007, 05:14 AM   #14
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Grandfather passed away just under 3 years ago.. One of the hardest times of my life.. I was in a state of regret and constant depression after his death.. I really don't think anything would have got me out of that. The worst part and the thing that kept me down is the fact that I knew I wasn't aware of the full extent of what was going on. Only time will really heal that kind of thing. After a few months, I began being optimistic. I've prayed for him every day since the 23rd of January =)
I sometimes feel that maybe it was harder ending it while being so close- those last few days I was closest to him then ever before.. I was the only one who really went out of their way to entertain him. He died suddenly, but peacefully.
I wish the best for your grandmother, and yourself.
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Old 10-15-2007, 06:01 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by gizmofo
Grandfather passed away just under 3 years ago.. One of the hardest times of my life.. I was in a state of regret and constant depression after his death.. I really don't think anything would have got me out of that. The worst part and the thing that kept me down is the fact that I knew I wasn't aware of the full extent of what was going on. Only time will really heal that kind of thing. After a few months, I began being optimistic. I've prayed for him every day since the 23rd of January =)
I sometimes feel that maybe it was harder ending it while being so close- those last few days I was closest to him then ever before.. I was the only one who really went out of their way to entertain him. He died suddenly, but peacefully.
I wish the best for your grandmother, and yourself.
hmm when my grandfather died in 2000 i was only 14 then, i believe it was one of the hardest things i ever had faced. my problem was i held my emotions inside too much. i dont know why, but i felt it was being weak to cry. i only found out later that my grandfathers last thing in his journal was...

Sun 11/5
Went to new house, played chess with VJ. had a great time with him, a swell time. House is looking better all the time.

They were in the process of moving into a retirement village, and I had gone over to their temporary appt. and played chess with him one afternoon to keep him company.

after they finally moved in, a week later he died. ugh memories... they bring the tears back...
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Old 10-16-2007, 03:02 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuk3m
hmm when my grandfather died in 2000 i was only 14 then, i believe it was one of the hardest things i ever had faced. my problem was i held my emotions inside too much. i dont know why, but i felt it was being weak to cry. i only found out later that my grandfathers last thing in his journal was...

Sun 11/5
Went to new house, played chess with VJ. had a great time with him, a swell time. House is looking better all the time.

They were in the process of moving into a retirement village, and I had gone over to their temporary appt. and played chess with him one afternoon to keep him company.

after they finally moved in, a week later he died. ugh memories... they bring the tears back...
Sometimes its best to see that others share your experiences. Helps more than anything else can.
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