Why did the chicken cross the road?

Innoc · 08-28-2008, 08:56 PM

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicke! n in th is country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: F***ing chicken....Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: Now, I will admit that while I was governor of Arkansas, I saw a lot of chickens. However, I do not know this chicken. This chicken is simply trying to gain some attention in professing to have crossed this road. This presidency will not be respond to, nor be affected by, any of the lies that this chicken concocts.

BILL CLINTON #2: I have no recollection of exposing myself to this chicken! , although it may be a possibility inasmuch as I regularly adjust, lower or remove my pants in the course of normal grooming or hygienic routine, and this chicken may have been inadvertently included on one such occasion. I do, however, deny that I then directed this chicken to perform anything that would fall outside her normal duties and shake her so much as to compel her to cross the road.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that the is chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when t he price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us! the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

A ERNST & YOUNG CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Ernst & Young, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Ernst & Young helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Ernst & Young convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with deep skills in the transportation industry, to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge, capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to Synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Ernst & Young helped the chicken change to become more successful.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Iggy · 08-28-2008, 10:49 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz on the other side was a KFC, and at KFC, they do chicken right!

3allz · 08-28-2008, 11:51 PM

whens a door not a door?

when its ajar

Demasu · 08-29-2008, 12:35 AM

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Damascus · 08-29-2008, 01:07 AM

New record, thread got derailed by the 1/2nd post.

This made me lol a bit.

Scuzzy · 08-29-2008, 03:01 AM

"That Chicken is a gay homosexual."

Hawk Eye · 08-29-2008, 05:44 AM

When do witches cook eggs?

FRIDAY!

Get it? FRY- DAY?

פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ · 08-29-2008, 11:57 AM

Oh loooord....

ekiM · 08-29-2008, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hawk Eye

When do witches cook eggs?

FRIDAY!

Get it? FRY- DAY?

Why witches?

Did you hear about the paraplegic juggler? He dropped all the paraplegics.

bokko · 08-29-2008, 11:05 PM

what do you call cheese that's not yours?
nacho cheese

Desyphur · 09-01-2008, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bokko

what do you call cheese that's not yours?
nacho cheese

*facepalm*

ekiM · 09-02-2008, 06:50 PM

That's actually the funniest new joke I've heard in a looooong time.

Iggy · 09-02-2008, 10:47 PM

That's not a new joke by ANY stretch of the imagination.

uBeR · 09-03-2008, 01:24 AM

He's from England. Give him a break.

Doctor Zyo · 09-03-2008, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Innoc

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

No, that was me.

**mervaka** · 09-03-2008, 09:26 PM

A font walks in a bar and the barman says:

"Sorry mate, we don't serve your type round here"

פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ · 09-03-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mervaka

A font walks in a bar and the barman says:

"Sorry mate, we don't serve your type round here"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

No, seriously?

A man walks into a bar...broke his frikkin' nose!

Demasu · 09-04-2008, 01:35 AM

Three men walk into a bar, you think the third one would notice.

A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.

reaper18 · 09-04-2008, 02:31 AM

2 men walk into a bar
They have an enjoyable night drinking and head home
Rape affects millions of americans.
Drive safe!

Tally · 09-17-2008, 01:39 AM

A man walks into a bar in a skyscraper.
After a few drinks, he notices another man jumping out of the window... only to float right back up, and into the window again.
"Hey, how do you do that?" The buzzed patron asks.
"There's an upward draft here. If you jump through it, it will carry you back to the window." To demonstrate, he leaps out of the window, and within the minute, he's brought back to the window again.

"I'm not sure if I trust you. It's a pretty long fall down, you know." The patron says.
"Don't worry, just spread your arms out when you fall, and you'll be fine." To reassure him, he does it again.

"Alright, let me try, then." The first man pushes the other aside, and leaps out of the window, arms outstretched in the air.

The bartender then chimes in, "You're a real dick, Superman, you know that?"

08-28-2008, 08:56 PM	#1
Innoc Hitman 2 1 Actual Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: "Oscar Mike" Gametype: FPS or RTS (just say NO to MMO) Affiliations: Your Mom Posts Rated Helpful 8 Times	Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicke! n in th is country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. DICK CHENEY: F*ing chicken....Where's my gun? COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. BILL CLINTON: Now, I will admit that while I was governor of Arkansas, I saw a lot of chickens. However, I do not know this chicken. This chicken is simply trying to gain some attention in professing to have crossed this road. This presidency will not be respond to, nor be affected by, any of the lies that this chicken concocts. BILL CLINTON #2: I have no recollection of exposing myself to this chicken! , although it may be a possibility inasmuch as I regularly adjust, lower or remove my pants in the course of normal grooming or hygienic routine, and this chicken may have been inadvertently included on one such occasion. I do, however, deny that I then directed this chicken to perform anything that would fall outside her normal duties and shake her so much as to compel her to cross the road. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that the is chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. ANDERSON COOPER: CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when t he price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us! the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? A ERNST & YOUNG CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Ernst & Young, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Ernst & Young helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Ernst & Young convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with deep skills in the transportation industry, to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge, capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to Synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Ernst & Young helped the chicken change to become more successful. COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? __________________ Mooga on Obama*: He can cut taxes. Actually do something useful. Punch Nancy Pelosi in the face. Just to name a few.* You eventually run out of other people's money to spend.

08-29-2008, 01:07 AM	#5
Damascus Comic Artist D&A Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	New record, thread got derailed by the 1/2nd post. This made me lol a bit. __________________

08-29-2008, 03:01 AM	#6
Scuzzy The Old Timers Clan D&A Member Retired FF Staff Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Server: 206.217.134.170:27016 Posts Rated Helpful 2 Times	"That Chicken is a gay homosexual." __________________ "Player Quality, not Quantity, is what we strive for." - The LLama Wrangler "A clan is defined by the nature of it's enemies. - The Llama Wrangler

09-03-2008, 01:24 AM	#14
uBeR Not ****** Yet D&A Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	He's from England. Give him a break. __________________ OCCUPATION 101. *One would think a simple task would be, well, simple. Maybe not for simpletons.*

08-28-2008, 11:51 PM	#3
3allz Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	whens a door not a door? when its ajar

08-29-2008, 12:35 AM	#4
Demasu Official FF Medic Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	I wondered why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

08-29-2008, 05:44 AM	#7
Hawk Eye Who the fuck is this guy? D&A Member Beta Tester Join Date: Mar 2007 Class/Position: O Preferred Gametype: AvD Affiliations: [AE] Asseaters Posts Rated Helpful 2 Times	When do witches cook eggs? FRIDAY! Get it? FRY- DAY?

08-29-2008, 11:57 AM	#8
פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ Annoying people since 1986 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Belgium a.k.a. absurdistan Class/Position: O fatty, pyro - D engy, pyro Gametype: CTF Affiliations: This space for rent. Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	Oh loooord....

08-29-2008, 11:05 PM	#10
bokko when ff will out? D&A Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	what do you call cheese that's not yours? nacho cheese

09-02-2008, 06:50 PM	#12
ekiM Arrogance is Bliss Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bristol UK Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	That's actually the funniest new joke I've heard in a looooong time.

09-03-2008, 09:26 PM	#16
mervaka A Very Sound Guy! Fortress Forever Staff Join Date: May 2005 Location: UK Posts Rated Helpful 15 Times	A font walks in a bar and the barman says: "Sorry mate, we don't serve your type round here"

09-04-2008, 01:35 AM	#18
Demasu Official FF Medic Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Three men walk into a bar, you think the third one would notice. A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.

09-04-2008, 02:31 AM	#19
reaper18 sKeeD D&A Member Beta Tester Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Class/Position: Scout, Demo, Solly Gametype: Any Posts Rated Helpful 21 Times	2 men walk into a bar They have an enjoyable night drinking and head home Rape affects millions of americans. Drive safe!

09-17-2008, 01:39 AM	#20
Tally Join Date: Sep 2008 Gametype: Capture the Flag Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	A man walks into a bar in a skyscraper. After a few drinks, he notices another man jumping out of the window... only to float right back up, and into the window again. "Hey, how do you do that?" The buzzed patron asks. "There's an upward draft here. If you jump through it, it will carry you back to the window." To demonstrate, he leaps out of the window, and within the minute, he's brought back to the window again. "I'm not sure if I trust you. It's a pretty long fall down, you know." The patron says. "Don't worry, just spread your arms out when you fall, and you'll be fine." To reassure him, he does it again. "Alright, let me try, then." The first man pushes the other aside, and leaps out of the window, arms outstretched in the air. The bartender then chimes in, "You're a real dick, Superman, you know that?"

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)