ITT We tell Jokes (digest your last meal 1st kthxbye) - Page 5

o_|404|innoc-tpf- · 09-12-2006, 11:08 PM

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you were going to find out anyway!
"Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, a little Pop-Up appeared nine months later that said:
You got Male.

o_loader · 09-12-2006, 11:11 PM

Known them for years mate..

Heres another one:

Englishman, irishman and a scotsman were stranded on a desert island. Three days of wandering the island, eating berries, the englishman spots a boat... They start waving frantically, and manage to catch the boats attention.

The boat uses a speaker system and explains that they cannot sail to shore because it is too rocky, and they must swim to the boat.

"How far is it?" cries the scotsman

"It's about 400 meters" replies the captian.

The englishman runs off into the water, 2 minutes later he comes back.. "Sorry lads, I got about 100 meteres and had to come back I was too tired"

Then scotsman runs off into the water, 2 mintues later he comes back.. "Sorry lads, I got about 150 meters and had to come back I was too tired"

The irishman swims out, 3 minutes later he comes back.. "Sorry lads, I got 300 meters and had to come back I was too tired."

o_bobtheguy · 09-12-2006, 11:14 PM

:/ I don't get it..

o_loader · 09-13-2006, 12:36 AM

sigh..

400 meters away, he swims 300 meters and swims back because hes too tired.

300 x 2 = 600 meters.

Lost · 09-13-2006, 12:47 AM

Haha, some good ones Loader.

o_etzell · 09-13-2006, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoKill----->

Where do get these dumb Irish men jokes?

When will ff out.

o_skanky butterpuss · 09-13-2006, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loader

Englishman, Irishman and a scotsman walking in the desert. After hours of walking the englishman trips over a lamp.

reminds me of one with a black guy, white guy, and mexican guy.

dont spose real racist jokes are acceptable though.

o_yomamashouse · 09-13-2006, 03:19 AM

Lol, as bad as they are some are quite clever.

My friend told me this one . Why are all black people good at basketball? They can all steal, shoot and run.

o_frenchtoast · 09-13-2006, 03:33 AM

How many white guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, the black guy already stole it.

Whaddya call a black guy on the moon? A problem.
Whaddya call 100 black guys on the moon? A problem.
Whaddya call 1 million black guys on the moon? A problem.
Whaddya call all the black guys on the moon? Problem Solved.

o_imbrifer · 09-13-2006, 05:03 AM

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes!

- - - - - - - - - -

A guy gets a physical at a doctor's office. The following Wednesday, his doctor calls with the results. "I have bad news and I have worse news", the doctor says. "The bad news is that the tests say you have only a week to live." The guy says "Oh, that's horrible. What could possibly be worse than that?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to get ahold of you since Thursday."

- - - - - - - - - -

Two rather nerdy engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

o_geokill-----> · 09-13-2006, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etzell

When will ff out.

When I bang your mom *swish
Pretty soon

also lol @ Imbrifer post

o_skanky butterpuss · 09-13-2006, 07:12 AM

alright, theres a black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walking through the desert. they come upon a lamp and give it a rub. a genie comes out and offers to grant each one a wish. the black guy says,
"i wish all of my black brothers and sisters were back in africa, the homeland."
POOF, hes gone. the mexican guy says
"i wish all my mexican brothers and sisters could be back in mexico, the homeland"
POOF, gone. the genie asks the white guy what he wishes for. he says,
"wait, you mean to tell me there arent any blacks or mexicans in america anymore?"
"thats right"
the white guy thinks for a minute. finally he turns to the genie and says,
"ill have a coke"

o_zsilver_fox · 09-13-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skanky Butterpuss

alright, theres a black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walking through the desert. they come upon a lamp and give it a rub. a genie comes out and offers to grant each one a wish. the black guy says,
"i wish all of my black brothers and sisters were back in africa, the homeland."
POOF, hes gone. the mexican guy says
"i wish all my mexican brothers and sisters could be back in mexico, the homeland"
POOF, gone. the genie asks the white guy what he wishes for. he says,
"wait, you mean to tell me there arent any blacks or mexicans in america anymore?"
"thats right"
the white guy thinks for a minute. finally he turns to the genie and says,
"ill have a coke"

You stole that from the Boondock Saints, woman!

Lost · 09-13-2006, 03:44 PM

Hey, at least he's seen it, earns him points none the less!

Lost · 09-13-2006, 03:48 PM

http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/f...rman_skit.html

Its not a joke but its damned funny none the less.

o_loader · 09-13-2006, 05:08 PM

Although they were funny, I think you better lay off those types of jokes. They will only offend someone soon.

Circuitous · 09-13-2006, 06:59 PM

I AM OFFENDED.

Lost · 09-13-2006, 07:11 PM

Here, this'll put us back on even playing fields.

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is an evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

Not too funny, but neither are most racist jokes, heh.

Why is it so hard to find white racist jokes?
Cause being white is bad enough.

I did chuckle at this one though.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.

o_loader · 09-13-2006, 08:00 PM

Too many American jokes :P

o_|404|innoc-tpf- · 09-13-2006, 08:35 PM

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, "You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink.

The first man went down yelling, "Beerrrrr!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.

The second guy went down the slide yelling, "lemonaaaaaade!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.

The third guy went down the slide yelling "wheeeeeeeee!!!"'

09-13-2006, 12:47 AM	#85
Lost Fear teh crowbar. Retired FF Staff Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oklahoma Gametype: CTF ftw, yeh Posts Rated Helpful 6 Times	Haha, some good ones Loader. __________________ Do what you want cuz a pirate is free! You are a pirate!

09-13-2006, 03:44 PM	#94
Lost Fear teh crowbar. Retired FF Staff Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oklahoma Gametype: CTF ftw, yeh Posts Rated Helpful 6 Times	Hey, at least he's seen it, earns him points none the less! __________________ Do what you want cuz a pirate is free! You are a pirate!

09-13-2006, 03:48 PM	#95
Lost Fear teh crowbar. Retired FF Staff Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oklahoma Gametype: CTF ftw, yeh Posts Rated Helpful 6 Times	http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/f...rman_skit.html Its not a joke but its damned funny none the less. __________________ Do what you want cuz a pirate is free! You are a pirate!

09-13-2006, 06:59 PM	#97
Circuitous Useless Retired FF Staff Join Date: Jun 2005 Class/Position: D Soldier, O Scout Gametype: AvD Posts Rated Helpful 9 Times	I AM OFFENDED. __________________ Look at all those dead links.

09-13-2006, 07:11 PM	#98
Lost Fear teh crowbar. Retired FF Staff Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oklahoma Gametype: CTF ftw, yeh Posts Rated Helpful 6 Times	Here, this'll put us back on even playing fields. What's the difference between a white man and a snake? One is an evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake. Not too funny, but neither are most racist jokes, heh. Why is it so hard to find white racist jokes? Cause being white is bad enough. I did chuckle at this one though. What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. __________________ Do what you want cuz a pirate is free! You are a pirate!

09-12-2006, 11:08 PM	#81
o_\|404\|innoc-tpf- Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Midtown Express Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you were going to find out anyway! "Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, a little Pop-Up appeared nine months later that said: You got Male.

09-12-2006, 11:11 PM	#82
o_loader Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Portsmouth, England Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Known them for years mate.. Heres another one: Englishman, irishman and a scotsman were stranded on a desert island. Three days of wandering the island, eating berries, the englishman spots a boat... They start waving frantically, and manage to catch the boats attention. The boat uses a speaker system and explains that they cannot sail to shore because it is too rocky, and they must swim to the boat. "How far is it?" cries the scotsman "It's about 400 meters" replies the captian. The englishman runs off into the water, 2 minutes later he comes back.. "Sorry lads, I got about 100 meteres and had to come back I was too tired" Then scotsman runs off into the water, 2 mintues later he comes back.. "Sorry lads, I got about 150 meters and had to come back I was too tired" The irishman swims out, 3 minutes later he comes back.. "Sorry lads, I got 300 meters and had to come back I was too tired."

09-12-2006, 11:14 PM	#83
o_bobtheguy Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	:/ I don't get it..

09-13-2006, 12:36 AM	#84
o_loader Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Portsmouth, England Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	sigh.. 400 meters away, he swims 300 meters and swims back because hes too tired. 300 x 2 = 600 meters.

09-13-2006, 03:19 AM	#88
o_yomamashouse Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Your Mamas House Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Lol, as bad as they are some are quite clever. My friend told me this one . Why are all black people good at basketball? They can all steal, shoot and run.

09-13-2006, 03:33 AM	#89
o_frenchtoast Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Markham, Ontario, Canada! Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	How many white guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, the black guy already stole it. Whaddya call a black guy on the moon? A problem. Whaddya call 100 black guys on the moon? A problem. Whaddya call 1 million black guys on the moon? A problem. Whaddya call all the black guys on the moon? Problem Solved.

09-13-2006, 05:03 AM	#90
o_imbrifer Join Date: May 2005 Location: Changes every few months Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	What's red and invisible? No tomatoes! - - - - - - - - - - A guy gets a physical at a doctor's office. The following Wednesday, his doctor calls with the results. "I have bad news and I have worse news", the doctor says. "The bad news is that the tests say you have only a week to live." The guy says "Oh, that's horrible. What could possibly be worse than that?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to get ahold of you since Thursday." - - - - - - - - - - Two rather nerdy engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'" The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

09-13-2006, 07:12 AM	#92
o_skanky butterpuss Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Tampon, FL Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	alright, theres a black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walking through the desert. they come upon a lamp and give it a rub. a genie comes out and offers to grant each one a wish. the black guy says, "i wish all of my black brothers and sisters were back in africa, the homeland." POOF, hes gone. the mexican guy says "i wish all my mexican brothers and sisters could be back in mexico, the homeland" POOF, gone. the genie asks the white guy what he wishes for. he says, "wait, you mean to tell me there arent any blacks or mexicans in america anymore?" "thats right" the white guy thinks for a minute. finally he turns to the genie and says, "ill have a coke"

09-13-2006, 05:08 PM	#96
o_loader Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Portsmouth, England Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Although they were funny, I think you better lay off those types of jokes. They will only offend someone soon.

09-13-2006, 08:00 PM	#99
o_loader Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Portsmouth, England Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Too many American jokes :P

09-13-2006, 08:35 PM	#100
o_\|404\|innoc-tpf- Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Midtown Express Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, "You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, "Beerrrrr!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling, "lemonaaaaaade!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling "wheeeeeeeee!!!"'

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