Dear husband...

o_hired-gun · 02-19-2006, 12:00 AM

Maybe you've seen it before?

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you
came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me
anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say
anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But
when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

o_turbowolf · 02-19-2006, 12:05 AM

doh surprised :P

o_ivaqual · 02-19-2006, 12:06 AM

Good one, but you know there is a joke thread now :P

o_sobe green · 02-19-2006, 02:05 AM

Screw the joke thread. This way I don't have to filter through people arguing over the meaning of a joke or ten "lol, rofl, lmao" posts just to get to a joke.

o_mooga · 02-19-2006, 03:09 AM

[5,000 LOL POSTS HERE]

o_dr zoidberg · 02-19-2006, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mooga

[5,000 LOL POSTS HERE]

u got 1 post to 1337 make it a worthy one

o_loader · 02-19-2006, 10:43 AM

Is that real?

o_broodingdude · 02-19-2006, 07:42 PM

ROFL!

o_geokill-----> · 02-19-2006, 09:49 PM

Damn she got owned

02-19-2006, 12:00 AM	#1
o_hired-gun Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sweden the land of sin Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Dear husband... Maybe you've seen it before? Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care. P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem. Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

02-19-2006, 12:05 AM	#2
o_turbowolf Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Spain Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	doh surprised :P

02-19-2006, 12:06 AM	#3
o_ivaqual Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Europe, Front Yard Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Good one, but you know there is a joke thread now :P

02-19-2006, 02:05 AM	#4
o_sobe green Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Arkansas Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Screw the joke thread. This way I don't have to filter through people arguing over the meaning of a joke or ten "lol, rofl, lmao" posts just to get to a joke.

02-19-2006, 03:09 AM	#5
o_mooga Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A Small Box Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	[5,000 LOL POSTS HERE]

02-19-2006, 10:43 AM	#7
o_loader Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Portsmouth, England Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Is that real?

02-19-2006, 07:42 PM	#8
o_broodingdude Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Hawaii Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	ROFL!

02-19-2006, 09:49 PM	#9
o_geokill-----> Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Fort Worth, Tejas Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	Damn she got owned

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