Character and integrity lead a person to success, but with good appearance.

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My 16-year-old nephew is getting a little obese lately. Compounded with his unkempt appearance and poor choice of clothing, he isn't make the best presentation of himself. As his uncle I take personal interests to correct the problem before it becomes too difficult.

Edgar is rather precocious at age 16. He knows how to sweet-talk people. I must admit I enjoy being flattered by Edgar. He pays close attention to current events, forms careful opinions about religions, and makes fun of the world's follies. I really see myself being his friend more than a mentor. Without a doubt, he will grow up to be a guy with good self-esteem.

I would like to offer to him good advice to success in life. Of course, I am not in the position to "instruct" him what to do. I must convince him.


Where do I start? The first and most crucial step is to make him realize good physical appearance is a requirement, not an option. Why? How? In my limited experience in life, I have come to believe that character, self-confidence and integrity are the major ingredient to success in career, friendship, romantic relationships and family relationships. Without these virtues, most (but not all) people will be stuck in the long-run in their journeys of life. Developing character takes work. In fact, it may just be the most challenging and rewarding aspect of life. this is why I admire people who hold strong beliefs and are certain about themselves.

On the other hand, we depend on other people to achieve objectives. For example, one must establish a network of friends to meet more people from different backgrounds. To move forward in career, one must actively seek out professional relationship with a good number of people. In short, opportunities lies in constantly meeting new people.

This is where appearance plays an important role. People get judged by their person appearance before they are given the chance to demonstrate their knowledge, wisdom, and kindness. They are "weeded out" by the "appearance quick visual test" before any establishment of mental or spiritual connections. Don't believe it? Walk into a job interview with scratched shoes and let me know the outcome. Try hitting up on good-looking girls with a skinny or obese physique and tell me about it (okay okay, there is an alternative...you can dress stylishly to make up for the other shortcomings.) I don't care how smoothly you talk. You will be shut down before you open your mouth. Your success rate will be quite close to zero. Either that or you will likely end up with crappy job or crappy girlfriends. NOW, there are certainly exceptions to the trend. I know about it, and I have friends who are exceptions. But, few people will disagree that in general this is the case.


So my take, and my advice to my nephew is this:
Spend some time to get personal appearance up to par. Think of personal appearance as a "tool" or "asset" to get pass the disqualification test known as "first impressions". Don't get too obsessed, or worst, build self-esteem upon one's own appearance. But do enough so that one can open up a conversion with almost anyone. (Rather than being turned away for just looking unworthy). Remember, there are many many vain idiots who only judge a person by his body, and the contents of a book by its cover. Sad, but that is just life. You appeal to them ONLY because their rich daddy hold the key to your success.

Don't let you appearance limit your full potential

Please tell me how you think.
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