[KubeDawg]

"Sure, I am on a gaming mouse (mx518 v2" which I can lower the dpi but I shouldn't fucking have to (I set to max and change buttons to extra keys). But that still leaves me with acceleration."

I've been using my MX518 for a few years now and never had an issue with too high sensitivity. Not sure if it's the v2 version though but maybe try reinstalling the drivers, or resetting everything to defaults if you can.