o_billdoor
03-04-2005, 11:18 AM
1. Meaningless Statistics
ITV NEWS: "A quarter of all people in the UK have been victims of identity theft or know someone that has."
CM: "No one is safe. By the end of tomorrow, one or all of these people may have been set on fire, bum raped or burgled senseless by Brtain's maurauding criminals."
2. Hilarious Graphics
ITV NEWS: "The threat of terror is looming over parliament."
[cut to a graphic of the Houses of Pariliament and the word TERROR in 3D lettering moving forward from the sky behind]
CM: "What hope do we have of battering these down?"
http://www.fitzgibbon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/be_whathope.jpg
3. Condescending Reporters
ITV NEWS: "Bono, Bill Gates and Tony Blair are meeting to discuss African poverty. Sounds unlikely? Listen, then!"
CM: "You haven't got a clue, have you? But you will do, if you watch for thirty minutes!"
Conclusive proof, I think, that Morris is pulling the strings at ITN!
ITV NEWS: "A quarter of all people in the UK have been victims of identity theft or know someone that has."
CM: "No one is safe. By the end of tomorrow, one or all of these people may have been set on fire, bum raped or burgled senseless by Brtain's maurauding criminals."
2. Hilarious Graphics
ITV NEWS: "The threat of terror is looming over parliament."
[cut to a graphic of the Houses of Pariliament and the word TERROR in 3D lettering moving forward from the sky behind]
CM: "What hope do we have of battering these down?"
http://www.fitzgibbon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/be_whathope.jpg
3. Condescending Reporters
ITV NEWS: "Bono, Bill Gates and Tony Blair are meeting to discuss African poverty. Sounds unlikely? Listen, then!"
CM: "You haven't got a clue, have you? But you will do, if you watch for thirty minutes!"
Conclusive proof, I think, that Morris is pulling the strings at ITN!