TO: Members of the Yellow Brotherhood of Llamas

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

Such as a faberage egg or some soiled underwear from Marilyn Monroe. You cannot deny the importance of the earth, the moon or the sun. So as long as those things are rotating each otherh clockwise the Yellow Brotherhood will stand tall to fight for what we believe in. Some belive the we are the great prophets of lore (me) who have been chosen to speak the word and to occaisonally slow smoke some delicous meat. I be able to taste the either is a great day in the land I walk daily listening to the best harmonica solo in a song ever. http://www.youtube.com/watch#playnex...&v=1yz5dP4m9tY

It is a long way home but it the way we may stop off for drugs, alcohol, whores or the wall street journel but we still make the trip. A million things may come our way to stop us from moving forward so we either walk by them or we marry them. People may hate the man who follows the shadow walker but if you know what that means then you are retarded. I was given that advice while speaking to an indian man (not HP tech support) but a real 1/16th indian with the braided hair, pipe and totum pole. It was the most realistic setting in an Indian casino I have ever been too.

"You can cut off my limbs and legs and I will still hop around on my penis under it snaps under the pressure of my weight " The Yellow Book Page 37.

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

to watch strippers strip to the new "We are the World" rendition I sit back and wonder where has the year gone. The Olympics are gone.......TFG or THANK FUCKING GOD for that. If I had to see one more clip of Shaun White I swear I was pray to the Yellow gods to bring down CBS. I do like the good looking women athletes but the dikes need to saty at home. Women like Bonnie Blair the super athelete makes me wanna puck with her tree trunk thighs, hairy bush and Rollie Fingers stash. He and Scott Hamiliton need to find real jobs. If I hear one more ufcking time about how huge the guys cock looks when he does a triple axial I was going to shoot myself. The ending cermony sucked and so did the beginning. Thank god for the end of that. Two weeks of utter hell with only 10 events that really bring the enitre thing to legitimacy. I will say it right now. I cannot wait for another four years. I hope that it runs for a whole month so I can plead insanity and to stay in a straight jacket with no way to watch or to hear about it. I loved the Olympics when I was 10. Now I love hot women and reruns of teh "Golden Girls". Our taste buds change like the weight of Oprah and I am tired of tasting shit.

Give me more of the real shit like I want it........Jersey Shore, The Real World with Puck and some Masingil commercials because you want to be fresh. It is like mouthwash for your asshole.

dh

[Iggy]

DH- Would it disturb you to know that my girlfriend and I use the code-term "Watch the Olympics" when we mean to say "going to have sex"?

[reaper18]

Is that because it happens every 4 years?

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

It does not bother nor distrub me of the usage of code names for sex since sex is a natural thing. Now the problem I have is that the Olympics is not. There is nothing natural about forming a special half pipe in the snow for someone who smokes weed to ride on his manmade engineered snowboard to compete for the gold. This is more of an Xgames feel to it and even though I was able to get laid at an XGames event 7 years back I do not feel they have a part in the Olympics. If they have all this other bullshit why not have the "Saucer Sled Freestyle Event" where you go down the mountian on a saucer on ramps. How about professional snowball fighting to match its Volleyball counterpart in the summer games or "Technical Snowman Building". These are just but a few of the dumbass events to come.

I do feel that I was too harsh with Bonnie Blair in a few of my posts back and that I want to let her know that I would still like to rub my nuts on her gold metals. http://www.pocanticohills.org/womenenc/blair.htm Bonnie if you can read this.....cal DH so that we can setup a national televised event for me to do so.

dh

[Iggy]

Originally Posted by reaper18

Is that because it happens every 4 years?

No.... in fact, we've been busted twice in the past week, since the Olympics aren't on TV anymore.

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

It has been mentioned the dh could use some more culture since I have problems with crazies who worship allah and people who think that Delta Burke was hot. That is why I have decided to remake some of the greatest old books that sucked and create sequels for them that are worthy of the Yellow Brotherhood generation.

Of Mice and Men 2: by dh. A classic sequel to the novel by John Stamos.

*Spoiler Teaser*

Lennie survives the shot to the back of the head and moves into the city where he stars in pornos until he is caught bringing dead mice to the set. He gets fired and starts a web app company that mkaes worthless iPhone apps that gets bought out by Apple and he becomes the head retard in charge of R&D and he comes up with the iPad. George since he thinks his calling is killing slow people starts up his own business in Hawaii and gets a tv show after he catches a few bad guys by calling himself "Dog The Bounty Hunter". He still has no idea that the slowest person around him is his big breasted wife that he decides to shoot all over in a different way.

Now when George finds out that the iPad sucks after buying one and the battery needs to be replaced so he has to send it in he learns about Lennie. he decides to head to the weapon dealer that he buys like 50 guns and ammo and shit from and heads out for the final kill. It takes away to get to Lennie where most of the movie is shot since him and his retarded brood have problems taking down fat hawaiians. At the end he is going to finish Lennie off once more with a gears of war shotty roll move when his wife bitches on him once more. He turns the shotty on himself and blowns his brains out. His brains cover an iPod on Lennies desk that shorts it out and in a rage brought on by shotty engineering he pulls a pin on a nade and takes himself out. Then the angel Gabriel comes down (played by Christopher Walkin) and kills all iPad users. Lennie survives the shotty to the face and starts dating Kim Kardasian who is oblivious that he is retarded.

dh

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

It is time we take matters into our own hands and you guessed what I am talking about next. That is the new official day of "My Government Sucks right Now and I am going to take a shit on one of its many facilites" or as it will be referred to on my Good Morning America interview as "MGSRNAIAGTTASOOOIMF". This will help people remember the day. I am going over dates right now but we will have more on it soon. I am hoping to get at least 12 tons of shit piled up right in front of the fence at the White House, Congress and the Senate. If you cannot make it you can take a shit it a cut down milk jug wrapped in duct tape and we will have someone distribute it for you. We cannot pay for shipping at this time. UPS will not give me a good deal to mail shit so go with the US Postal service and give them at least 3 weeks if you are at least two miles out of the DC area.

***NO LIQUID SHIT AT THIS TIME*** It defeats the purpose and to me liquid shit is like you are not even trying to shit right. I would like people to eat corn, and greens to give it a colorfull array if possible. I will be shitting out Bright Yellow as usuall since the sun has blessed my lower intestines. This will be the day to live in infamouy. It will be summer out so this shit will stink like you have smelled before. Start shitting now into barrels so you have enough waste to drive up with to dump. It needs at least 2 good months to get a decent aroma. If you need practice you can drop a deuce on your neighbors yard at 2pm on a saturday which will help loosen up your inhabitions.

dh

[reaper18]

I think alcohol is a great way to lose inhabitions
Even better than practice shitting on your neighbors yard

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

MOTHER NATURE!!! I am glad it is starting to warm up but like others I have been working so much I didnt even notice it was cold most of the time. You have to love that you spend so much time at work that you start fucking it like it was your female partner. You spend more time with the people there then you do your own kids and people wonder why kids are misbehaved, fat or retarded. We spend so much time working just to make ends meet so that when everything slows down and you dont have to work as much your fucking 80 and someone is wiping your ass for you. I give many "Thank You's" to anyone in the Nursing Home field that has to wipe an ass or sponge bathe an older person. You are number one in my book. I sure as hell couldnt do it.

It takes a special someone to be able to work in those type of situations so if you see a Nursing home worker you sat "Thank You" for cleaning up blood, shit and piss on a daily basis. I would say that when I cannot take care of myself and I have to be helped with everything that they need to throw me in a wood chipper or something to feed some hogs. At least I would be usefull again. Did you know that pigs have a desire to kill all mankind that this why we started to eat pork as a society. It was found out in 1500 bc and documented that unless we eat pork the swine will raise up to take over the world. Isnt that some shit.........squash a rebellion by eating them over the next thousands of years.........

dh

[Zydell]

I... remember now...

Once I was their king... we stood against the disbelievers, those fouls... they were many and at times it seemed impossible.. Is it really impossible to fight for truth when every insane argument is met with hatred? What then can one man do?
I look back now... and I see that it was not hatred, it was fear. Fear for seeing the truth, fear for having to acknowledge that feeling deep inside. I see now, all those that hate are gone, they are scattered and weak. Yet the yellow team did not dwingle, it did not fade. Did the bright lights in our hearts enlighten the dark souls around us? It seems so as after all this time I see clear once again: the pipes are yellow.

[Don]

And so our King has returned as the prophecy foretold! His magnificence speaks the enlightened truth...the pipes shine a brilliant YELLOW. Praise be to the Brotherhood.

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

It has been many years ago but it was the Yellow King Zydell who invited me to join the Yellow Llamas and to help guide our enemys to the light. I have been doing just that. Since the king stepped down I have helped hold the regins of sanity from which became of the democracy. The war of the colors continued will the Yellow Brotherhood stayed on top by slaying those who attacked us. We have outlasted all colors from the war and we still are here to stand tall to be who we really are......walkers of the light. We have fought war and seen the light which we now know can shine forever as long as you allow its glow to kiss your skin. It is our right to help guide the world so the prophecy must be heard because it is walking and breathing in front of your face and you cannot see it.

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

The green that we all need to survive is harder and harder to come by as the days go by so I have advice for everyone. Keep as much of it as you can and if you have a significant other who is not good with you man or women up and fucking tell them.

This is my true story.

I have a friend losing hours at his job but his wife keeps on spending money like it is going out of style and he couldnt man to tell her. So I took it upon myself the other night at a get together to tell her. This is how it went.

dh: I heard Bill is losing hours at work
friends wife: yes he is. money is starting to get tight
dh: if money is getting tight why did you order new furniture?
pause..........
friends wife: that is no of your business
dh: you are fucking right it is. You are digging my friend into a hole and dumping water on him. He is drowning and you keep on spending.
friends wife: I am not talking to you about this
dh: you dont have to talk but you have to fucking listen. you are going to stop you erroneous spending habits
friends wife: I will do whatever the fuck I want and you have no say in it.......
dh: if I was you and I say that because it is in your best interest in my eyes that you stop right away
friends wife: best interest??? What in the hell do you mean by that......
dh: If you send Bill and his kids into poverty because of your actions and you dont stop it you will be answering to me
friends wife: You threatening me?
dh: No no no. smiling. I am allowing you to change your future now before I have to get involved. Dont make me get involved. Have a good evening. *smiling the whole conversation* *walk away to Tom*
dh: hows it going Tom....Bills wife has had alot to drink tonight. She isnt acting right. Tom Tells his wife. Bill walks up
Bill: What the hell did you say to my wife?
dh: I asked her if there was anything I could do to help you guys out in this tough spot you are in. She took offense to it so I left. Tom and his wife has mentioned that she has been drinking a lot tonight so I just marked it up due to alcohol that she was mad at me.
Bill: She probally has drank to much wine.
dh: She will be better tomorrow Billy. I am sorry for offering to help.
Billy: You are a good friend dh.
dh: Thanks Billy. I know you guys are having a rough time and my prayers are with you.


Exact happenings of the party and two days later Billy called me to let me know that his wife all of the sudden returned the Brand new furniture she bought and he was thrilled about it. I smiled over the phone. I asked if they wanted to come over for dinner and he asked but his wife was not feeling well. Good dead done.

Sometimes you have to step over the line to get things accomplished so I hope for all of your sakes if you know a Billy like my friend or you are a Billy that you step up to the fucking plate to bat. I will step over the line as much as needed with a smile on my face. See how a bit of postive reinforcement works everytime. Atta boy...dh.....atta boy.

dh

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

As sit here taking a massive shit while updating this thread on my Palm I only wonder what technology will bring. Will we have the chance to be fitted with robotic arms that will give us the strength of 10 men while not malfunctioning during a masturbation session? (Burning the skin of your penis may cause discomfort). Maybe we will all be outfitted with a robotic eye that can see through clothes and walls so we can spend most of our time sitting across the street of a all female dorm with a beer in one hand and a smile in the other. Just think of having a built in flash chip and media player in your brain that could hold up to 10 years of porn that you could watch we you close your eyes. With all of these inventions on the horizon I have started to invest heavily in kleenex, lotion and vasoline. I have heard that they have finally created the pefect woman robot but they had to pull the plug since she became way too opinonated and wouldn't stop bitching. I think the actual news release from the scientist was "We had to blow that bitch up". You go south korean male scientist. You just might have saved the world from disaster.

dh

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

Just as the government smells like a mixture of Pamela Andersons crotchless panties mixed with raw chicken livers and WD40. I could deal getting screwed by Pamela since I would get off. Now when the government does it they are way too rough and it hurts mty wallet. I guess I have to get fucked up the ass by uncle sam to pay for others. I get sick of this utopia thinking since the closest I have ever been to a perfect society was getting way too drunk off of vodca. I thought that everyone was an angel right before I blacked out after I shit myself. It was a mess but well worth it. It ia amazing how close you get to perfection while you lay blacked out in a puddle of your own feces and vomit. I learned one important thing that night which I keep close in my mind. If you ever pass out due to a blackout drunk make sure you do not have your hand on your exposed penis when it happens. That my friends is not cool.

dh

[Elmo]

lol

[mervaka]

http://forums.fortress-forever.com/member.php?u=3489

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

There comes a point in time in everyones life where you feel like you are running out of time. It may stem from a funeral or watching your hair turn grey. Hell it may even be that you only have 10 mins left on your lunch hour and you are trying to rub one out in the bathroom while the stall door is broken and you are in the open. No matter the scenerio the last breath we just took cannot be reused or captured for another day so I plead to all of you. Time is not on our side it is what is chasing us down in order to ultimately tell us that our time is up. So I say it alloud. Fuck you time and all of your friends. I am going rto bust every fucking clock I can get my hands on until that day you catch up to me and I fuck you up.

dh

[DarkeN_HellspawN]

Since it is my new goal to help the lost I decided today that I would visit my old college campus to recruit members to the Yellow Brotherhood. Since posting this online in the student newspaper I was overwhelmed today by the number of asians who showed up. After explaining the goal most left to go drinking right after and the few who stayed demanded snacks and kool aid. We then sat down to a bowl of oatmeal and watched henati the rest of the day. Needless to say it was a great day and we might possibly have 1.5 new members joining. The .5 is the unborn child I won during a heated game of limbo. Regardless of the outcome I gave back to my college and I gave it my best shot which was all over the back of a 21 year old asian cheerleader. Viva la Brotherhood!!!

Dh