Video Game 7 Commandments / A Gamer's Manifesto

Ihmhi · 07-29-2008, 03:38 PM

Gamer's Manifesto:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15748...manifesto.html

The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16196...ould-obey.html

These are each several months old, but very interesting complementary works.

I like what they say. Read 'em and discuss.

Down with crates!

Hawk Eye · 07-29-2008, 06:45 PM

Quote:

We knew a man who failed that level 37 times, then got the Infinite Health cheat for it and came back. He intentionally tripped the alarm, the guards rushed out. Laughing maniacally, he proceeded to shoot those fuckers for four hours, killing 1,183 of them - 682 with groin shots - before his thumbs cramped up. Your game should not create this kind of bitterness.

Anshinritsumai · 07-29-2008, 08:33 PM

I get a laugh out of that every time I read it, mainly out of the fact that it's all true and that shit does need to change in the industry...

And the Guitar Hero/Rockband trend isn't the kind of change i'm talkin' about =/

פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ · 07-29-2008, 08:51 PM

These guys are great, and right y'know.

Nezumi · 07-30-2008, 03:53 AM

As I aspire to make great video games, I am going to refer back to those 7 commandments.

**squeek.** · 07-30-2008, 06:25 AM

FF/TFC skill maps would terrify these guys.

Quote:

16. NO MORE JUMPING PUZZLES IN FPS GAMES

Quote:

First-person jumping puzzles.

There is no possible freaking way to jump accurately from a first person perspective. All of the things that would let you do it in real life (sense of balance and momentum, awareness of your body) are gone. Also, you can't see your fucking feet.

Ihmhi · 07-30-2008, 11:03 AM

Concmap != Jumping Puzzle

There was *one* map I can think of... what was it, theclimb I think? That was the only exclusive "Jumping Puzzle" map I can think of.

פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ · 07-30-2008, 11:05 AM

I hate skillmaps.

TheWetMule · 07-30-2008, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ

I hate skillmaps.

You wanna go? Lets go. I wanna go. Lets go.

פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ · 07-30-2008, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWetMule

You wanna go? Lets go. I wanna go. Lets go.

I hate skillmaps because I can't conc for shit.

**Crazycarl** · 07-30-2008, 06:44 PM

Quote:

16. NO MORE JUMPING PUZZLES IN FPS GAMES

Quote:

First-person jumping puzzles.

There is no possible freaking way to jump accurately from a first person perspective. All of the things that would let you do it in real life (sense of balance and momentum, awareness of your body) are gone. Also, you can't see your fucking feet.

I don't know how you can say that and still praise Portal, which is chock full of jumping puzzles.

Hawk Eye · 07-30-2008, 07:07 PM

I've always found jumping, etc. in most FPSes quite easy, actually.

Circuitous · 07-30-2008, 08:19 PM

It's harder when your FOV is 75 for some stupid reason.

**squeek.** · 07-30-2008, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ihmhi

Concmap != Jumping Puzzle

There was *one* map I can think of... what was it, theclimb I think? That was the only exclusive "Jumping Puzzle" map I can think of.

Okay then, CS kz climbing maps. Which are/were terribly popular.

Or, how about this: Kreedz Climbing Mod

Yeah, they would be furious.

leilei · 07-30-2008, 09:41 PM

Operation Flashpoint violates all 7!

Nezumi · 07-31-2008, 01:22 AM

Yea, I think the assertion that you can't jump accurately in FPSs is just plain wrong, as long as your FOV isn't 75.

Damascus · 07-31-2008, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leilei

Operation Flashpoint violates all 7!

What about Superman 64?

FrenchToast · 08-01-2008, 05:15 AM

I'm honestly not a fan of the FPS jumping puzzles, but Portal did have them, albeit it was a bit different. It wasn't jump from this ledge to this one, it was jump down, shoot, aim shoot and fire yourself out at this angle etc. It didn't irritate me as much as having to crouch jump up stacks of wobbly boxes in HL2, that due to your inability to know where your body was resulted in you knocking shit over without being able to stand on it etc. etc.

leilei · 08-01-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damascus

What about Superman 64?

That's a game? I thought it was a license-based asylum entertainment program

Nezumi · 08-01-2008, 11:37 PM

Daikatana really specifically violates a lot of the examples they set, like escorting someone, or shooting tiny unsatisfying enemies.

But they did say in that article that they were mostly pointing out flaws in good games because there's no point in talking about bad games.

07-29-2008, 03:38 PM	#1
Ihmhi [AE] 0112 Ihmhi SJB Wiki Team Fortress Forever Staff Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Newark, NJ, United States Class/Position: A little bit o' everythin' Gametype: Also a little bit o' everythin' Affiliations: [AE] Asseater, SJB Straight Jacket Brigade Posts Rated Helpful 3 Times	Video Game 7 Commandments / A Gamer's Manifesto Gamer's Manifesto: http://www.cracked.com/article_15748...manifesto.html The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey: http://www.cracked.com/article_16196...ould-obey.html These are each several months old, but very interesting complementary works. I like what they say. Read 'em and discuss. Down with crates! __________________ Support FF: Anime: The Thread: Reloaded The one and only anime thread on these here forums. Select the pistol, and then, select your horse.

07-30-2008, 03:53 AM	#5
Nezumi Retired FF Staff Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Peoples Republic of Harmfull Free Radicals. Class/Position: Soldier, O Gametype: Doubble Mode Affiliations: Cassiotone Nation Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	As I aspire to make great video games, I am going to refer back to those 7 commandments. __________________ TG: pretty much you have no idea how much i fuckin own at this game. TG: i bested no less than three flaming tornados and broke a huge wizard.

07-30-2008, 11:03 AM	#7
Ihmhi [AE] 0112 Ihmhi SJB Wiki Team Fortress Forever Staff Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Newark, NJ, United States Class/Position: A little bit o' everythin' Gametype: Also a little bit o' everythin' Affiliations: [AE] Asseater, SJB Straight Jacket Brigade Posts Rated Helpful 3 Times	Concmap != Jumping Puzzle There was one map I can think of... what was it, theclimb I think? That was the only exclusive "Jumping Puzzle" map I can think of. __________________ Support FF: Anime: The Thread: Reloaded The one and only anime thread on these here forums. Select the pistol, and then, select your horse.

07-30-2008, 08:19 PM	#13
Circuitous Useless Retired FF Staff Join Date: Jun 2005 Class/Position: D Soldier, O Scout Gametype: AvD Posts Rated Helpful 9 Times	It's harder when your FOV is 75 for some stupid reason. __________________ Look at all those dead links.

07-31-2008, 01:22 AM	#16
Nezumi Retired FF Staff Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Peoples Republic of Harmfull Free Radicals. Class/Position: Soldier, O Gametype: Doubble Mode Affiliations: Cassiotone Nation Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	Yea, I think the assertion that you can't jump accurately in FPSs is just plain wrong, as long as your FOV isn't 75. __________________ TG: pretty much you have no idea how much i fuckin own at this game. TG: i bested no less than three flaming tornados and broke a huge wizard.

07-29-2008, 08:33 PM	#3
Anshinritsumai °_o Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 127.0.0.1 Class/Position: Medic & Engy Gametype: AvD Affiliations: DM, OC, -[CfH]- Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	I get a laugh out of that every time I read it, mainly out of the fact that it's all true and that shit does need to change in the industry... And the Guitar Hero/Rockband trend isn't the kind of change i'm talkin' about =/

07-29-2008, 08:51 PM	#4
פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ Annoying people since 1986 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Belgium a.k.a. absurdistan Class/Position: O fatty, pyro - D engy, pyro Gametype: CTF Affiliations: This space for rent. Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	These guys are great, and right y'know.

07-30-2008, 11:05 AM	#8
פֿяαιп βαмαgεפ Annoying people since 1986 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Belgium a.k.a. absurdistan Class/Position: O fatty, pyro - D engy, pyro Gametype: CTF Affiliations: This space for rent. Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	I hate skillmaps.

07-30-2008, 07:07 PM	#12
Hawk Eye Who the fuck is this guy? D&A Member Beta Tester Join Date: Mar 2007 Class/Position: O Preferred Gametype: AvD Affiliations: [AE] Asseaters Posts Rated Helpful 2 Times	I've always found jumping, etc. in most FPSes quite easy, actually.

07-30-2008, 09:41 PM	#15
leilei o^_^o Join Date: Nov 2007 Class/Position: O Gametype: CTF Posts Rated Helpful 0 Times	Operation Flashpoint violates all 7!

08-01-2008, 05:15 AM	#18
FrenchToast The 1337est D&A Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Omagosh Canada. Posts Rated Helpful 9 Times	I'm honestly not a fan of the FPS jumping puzzles, but Portal did have them, albeit it was a bit different. It wasn't jump from this ledge to this one, it was jump down, shoot, aim shoot and fire yourself out at this angle etc. It didn't irritate me as much as having to crouch jump up stacks of wobbly boxes in HL2, that due to your inability to know where your body was resulted in you knocking shit over without being able to stand on it etc. etc. __________________ James, while John had had 'had', had had 'had had' ; 'had had' had had a better effect on the teacher.

08-01-2008, 11:37 PM	#20
Nezumi Retired FF Staff Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Peoples Republic of Harmfull Free Radicals. Class/Position: Soldier, O Gametype: Doubble Mode Affiliations: Cassiotone Nation Posts Rated Helpful 1 Times	Daikatana really specifically violates a lot of the examples they set, like escorting someone, or shooting tiny unsatisfying enemies. But they did say in that article that they were mostly pointing out flaws in good games because there's no point in talking about bad games. __________________ TG: pretty much you have no idea how much i fuckin own at this game. TG: i bested no less than three flaming tornados and broke a huge wizard.

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